Tag Archives: 2018

2018 Year In Review

1. What did you do in 2018 that you’d never done before?

This sounds so lame, but 2018 was the first year that I got up early, took an exercise class, showered and got ready for work at the gym. Seriously, I had to talk myself off a ledge the night before: “If you don’t like it, Christianne, YOU NEVER HAVE TO DO IT AGAIN. No one will be staring at you or thinking you’re weird. They will be focused on themselves. GET YOUR HEAD RIGHT.”

It turns out, I loved it and felt energized all day. Don’t get me wrong – this is not going to become a 7-day-a-week thing. I heart sleep.

But it could be a once-a-week thing.

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I rarely make resolutions. Instead I set goals. (Honestly, I’m not sure how these are different.) But in 2018 my husband Sterling and I made vision boards and hung them in our bedroom. Among other things, I had a 4Runner, a corner office and a dollar figure on my salary. THEY HAPPENED.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

My friend Alison had her daughter in March, and I got to meet her in November. She’s a little doll!

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No, but our beloved cat Batman almost did. Our dog Silver hurt his leg somehow and we were initially worried that he had a degenerative knee issue. Corner Vet prescribed some medicine for the dog but failed to mention that it’s highly toxic in large doses. Because cats are so much smaller than dogs, it’s much worse for them. Batman jumped on the counter when I was feeding Silver and ate half of a dose. My back was turned for less than a minute. I immediately swatted the medicine from his mouth, but the damage was done. Two days later, he was near kidney failure and in kitty ICU. I will never forget standing outside of a Starbucks where I had settled in to wait and work on my laptop after dropping him off, the vet’s voice on the phone, telling me how high the kidney values were. It was bad. It was catastrophic.

“Are you telling me that my cat might not live?” I managed to sob. I could tell the answer was probably yes, but he didn’t want to say it.

I got in the 4Runner and called my husband, describing in more sobbing, hitching breaths what had happened. The worst part was that I had messed up by leaving the medicine on the counter. “I killed him,” I wailed. He told me it wasn’t my fault, that it was just a mistake, that Batman would be okay. But my heart was absolutely breaking.

Batman spent four days in ICU. We didn’t ask what it would cost to save him. We just asked the vets to do everything in their power to try.

He made it. In fact, his last diagnosis had him almost back to normal, so much that I heard incredulity in the vet’s voice.

5. What countries did you visit?

I didn’t leave the USA this year, but I went basically everywhere else!

6. What would you like to have in 2019 that you lacked in 2018?

My life and my heart are full! I am so grateful and lucky that I have everything I want and need, but if I have to choose something, I want more quality friends like Gigi and Madame V. I am working on this (see below!) and making progress, so I have high hopes for 2019.

7. What dates from 2018 will remain etched upon your memory?

November 6: the Blue Wave that ushered in a historical House of Representatives victory. And even though Beto lost, he inspired so many. I think he’s going places. Maybe even the White House.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Professionally: I got a promotion, a raise and a new corner office (hello vision board!) and hired my first employee. I manage a team of just one, but I’m so grateful that she not only loves her job and loves working for me, but tells me these things. Sterling always said I would be a great manager, and I hope every day I’m proving him right.

Personally, I made big strides in my relationship with my brother Jerry. Last year, same question, here was a part of my answer:

I had a falling out and difficult time with my brother. Life hasn’t been easy for either of us, but standing my ground and knowing I handled the situation well was a good lesson. Talking to my therapist about this (hi Kathaleen!) and hearing her words of wisdom and comfort was like wrapping myself in a warm blanket of love and reassurance. She told me that I deserve my good life, and I’ve worked hard for it. They were words I didn’t realize I needed so badly to hear.

Jerry and I didn’t talk much throughout 2018. He did his thing, and I did mine. In October, I was visiting my parents when my mom told me he was moving to Chicago. Because he has a dog, he would be driving instead of flying. Offhandedly, I said, “Road tripping isn’t really his thing; it’s more mine. I wonder if he wants help driving.” She beamed at me: “He would love that.” I rolled my eyes, thinking, “He most certainly would not.”

Regardless, I texted him and offered to help. He wrote back so quickly I saw the tiny dots that indicate someone is typing an immediate response. “That would be awesome and it’s so kind of you to offer.”

A month later, we had made the arrangements and the trip was upon us: 16 hours from Houston, starting Friday afternoon at 5 p.m. The goal was to reach Chicago by dinner Saturday night, and then I would fly home Sunday afternoon at 4 p.m. I had scheduled a ton of trips (see below) so I couldn’t take any extra days off work.

Jerry pulled up in a rented Ford Expedition with all his earthly possessions, including the dog. In the driveway, he said to my husband, “Thanks for letting me borrow her.”

Friday night we stayed in a Motel 6 in Marshall Texas. It was so fancy that I was surprised there was hot water in my room. I also found leftover Subway sandwiches in the refrigerator (mini bar?). Saturday morning at 6 a.m., we were back on the road trading 3-hour shifts of driving.

We rolled triumphantly into Chicago proper at 7:30 p.m. Saturday night, after 17 hours of music, Google maps, Starbucks, jokes, FaceTime with our parents, Spotify, podcasts, talks about why Chicago, our jobs, dating, trips down memory lane, facts about Texas, Arkansas, Missouri and Illinois’s state flowers, insects, and more.

Sunday afternoon we brunched and parted ways after sending a selfie and a few texts to my mother, who said we made her “heart sing.” Days later, Jerry told me that the trip was almost as cathartic as the move itself, my friends and my husband told me I was one of the strongest people I knew, and I realized they were right.

9. What was your biggest failure?

This is the same answer as 2017: Not being kind enough to myself. I kept a pretty accurate tally of every time I fell short, drank too much, ate the wrong thing, said something stupid to my husband, my boss or my friends.

Being mature about college football.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

I took a spill in A-Bay on our spring trip and hyperextended my knee. I heard the pop, felt some pain as I navigated the rest of the double black run (!) and thought I had torn my ACL. I ignored it, hoped for the best, but Sterling convinced me I needed to see a doctor. Reluctantly, terrified of bad news, I went in August. The doctor examined me, made a face and said, “I think it’s your ACL, but let’s do an MRI before we jump to conclusions.” I was kicking myself for the second time in 2018 – first I had screwed up with the cat, and now I had potentially wrecked my knee without time to fix it before ski season began in December.

The MRI showed a partial tear of the ACL, and my heart dropped in my chest. I asked a bazillion questions and received answers I didn’t like.

“Well of course you’ll need to brace your knee when you ski.”

“For how long?”

“Well, forever.”

Heartbroken? Um, yeah.

My hubby came through yet again with a recommendation from a friend in med school for a second opinion. The day of my appointment, I thought that I’d go in with a positive attitude, but be realistic. There was no way this would be a completely different diagnosis. Perhaps less severe than the reconstructive surgery with a 6-month recovery time the first doctor said I required, but still something had to be wrong. Right?

I practically held my breath as the doctor examined me, pushing my leg this way and that. He looked at my MRI. Finally, he looked at me. “I push and pull on torn ACLs all day long. That’s not what’s wrong with you. In fact, I’d tell you to ski tomorrow.”

I returned his gaze and said, “Would it be really awkward if I hugged you right now?”

11. What was the best thing you bought?

My 4Runner! He is so badass. I needed a weather vehicle for Princess Eleanor Rose, and my husband came in clutch with the research, negotiation for a fair price, and most importantly, all the mods to make FinnRunner look like a badass.

12. Where did most of your money go?

Same place as last year and the year before that: going out to eat, drink and on vacations during which we ate, drank, skied, boarded, drove and generally had a blast. No regrets, three years running.

13. What did you get really excited about?

Our vacations. We scored the companion pass on Southwest, so we went EVERYWHERE.

January: ski trip to Breckenridge with my parents, aunt, cousin and friends. We met up with a customer of Sterling’s and dragged him back to the house for dinner. Heather and Erik came to the house one night and we had cake for Sterling’s birthday. Joe joined us and crash landed into my dad on the slopes, but they were both okay and we laughed about it later.

February: annual anniversary ski trip to A-Bay, which is always like coming home. In late February, we went on the Race Armada rally to Golden Nugget, each driving our own car! This was very super awesome for the control freak in both of us, but not so awesome for conversation on the trip.

March: our final spring ski trip of the season, where Sterling’s colleague joined us and egged us on into trying a double black diamond. That turned into #10 – see above. Sterling intelligently said no. Despite the snafu, we had a blast. That’s what happens when you’re home.

May: we did a quick trip into Denver for Heather’s 40th surprise birthday party. I reconnected with her parents, whom I hadn’t seen in 30 years. Her ailing father even remembered our secret code word and made sure to say it to me. Memorial Day weekend we went to Scottsdale, mountain biked in the desert and generally partied like college kids.

June: I tagged along on Sterling’s work trip down to a resort in Galveston. We rode bikes and had too many cocktails in the pool.

2018 was strangely the year of Chicago – after never visiting there before, I went on a business trip there in June, returned in July and helped my brother move there in November. July’s trip involved meeting our friend Joe there and spending three glorious days eating, drinking and walking the city. Blue skies, sun, comedy shows, rooftop views, and much laughter.

August: we met up with Joe, Madame V and Gigi for a quick weekend. Cue the food, drinks, laughter and fun.

For Labor Day weekend in September, Sterling and I took a tour of California, starting with San Francisco on Friday night. After dinner and drinks with friends, we headed south on Saturday morning to Los Angeles. We stayed at the Dream Hotel for a night, then got on the road Sunday morning for San Diego. Sunday evening we had a delightful dinner with our friend Denise, and returned home Monday.

In October, we met Joe again in Dallas for the Texas-OU matchup and a win for the Longhorns! Then my crazy schedule really kicked in. Two weeks later, we took Princess Eleanor Rose on her second car rally to the Golden Nugget in Lake Charles. My friend Heather came to visit and we road-tripped to Austin for two days. A week later, we were en route to Vegas (my third home, after A Bay) to rally from there to LA, Monterrey and back. After arriving home on Tuesday, it was off to Chicago three days later. The following Saturday, I spent 24 hours with my dear friend Ali, her doll baby and baby daddy. I treasure our memories of takeout, Hallmark movies and watching the Longhorns on my iPad.

For Thanksgiving, we road tripped back to Austin for dinner with my parents. My sweet mother made me strawberry rhubarb pie. SHE IS THE BEST.

Outside of all that vacation, the other standout for excitement is I made new friendships. I found some special ladies who are strong, progressive, independent, and love sharing a mimosa and/or an enchilada with me.

14. What song will always remind you of 2018?

This just came out, so It’s a bit late, but the lyrics totally describe car rallies: “Don’t Threaten Me with a Good Time” by Panic! At The Disco.

15. Compared to this time last year, are you:

– happier or sadder? I think I’m a little sadder. Trump’s presidency is wearing on me.

– thinner or fatter? I am just about the same. However, I hate this question.

– richer or poorer? Richer

16. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Writing. I love it. I think I’m good at it, but I just have trouble making time to do it. I had a plan at one point to go write on Saturday mornings after my workout class, but it happened a grand total of twice until life got in the way.

17. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Beat myself up for not being perfect or “good.” This is obviously a recurring theme

18. How did you spend Christmas/Hanukkah/Major Holiday of your choice?

On Christmas Day, we flew to Denver and went up to A Bay for three days. I call this a bonus trip since we didn’t plan it, and one of the main goals was to test my knee. It passed with flying colors.

19. What were your favorite TV programs?

Queer Eye, Very Cavalleri, This is Us, Are you the One?, 911, Suits, Younger, Botched, (rewatching One Tree Hill).

20. What were your favorite books you read this year?

The books I gave five stars on Goodreads are: Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn, The Good Goodbye by Carla Buckley, and Sacred by Dennis Lehane.

21. What was your favorite music you heard this year?

I am totally digging Zayde Wolf and Panic! At The Disco right now. I went to a Blue October show in November and was absolutely enthralled. Sterling and I ask Siri to play Imagine Dragons radio nearly every day.

22. What were your favorite films you saw this year?

I hardly ever watch movies! I’m usually reading or watching TV when I have free time at home, on a plane or at the gym. I saw Crazy Rich Asians, Sorry To Bother You, I, Tonya, RBG and A Simple Favor. They were all good! (A Simple Favor was somehow better than the book! I think big credit is due to the screenplay writer as well as Anna Kendrick and Blake Lively for their amazing acting.)

23, What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

My husband and I celebrated my 41st the Saturday prior to my Tuesday birthday per my request. Our day began at Tenenbaum Jewelers, where I brought in a ring my grandmother left me when she died. I haven’t ever worn it, and it’s been 30 years. So now it’s being coated with a silver finish and made into a pendant. From there, we went to St. Bernard’s, where we drank free champagne and beer, and purchased new ski trip items. After St. Bernard’s, we wandered around River Oaks District, window shopping and sipping. We finished the night with a wonderful dinner with our friends Alex and Mark, including a delectable risotto.

There was a lot of prosecco.

I don’t regret a moment.

On Tuesday, I came home to flowers, champagne and a new lounge hoodie. My husband is always surprising me in the most wonderful ways.

24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

My husband struggled a bit with being fulfilled in his job, with his colleagues and friends, mainly due to the Trump presidency. His happiness is mine, and it’s important. I hope this gets better in 2019.

25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2018?

I’m going with the same answer as 2017: Classy and hip for work. Refusing to act my age, sexy and fierce when going out.

26. What kept you sane?

I apologize for the boring answer. As always: my husband. My partner, friend, confidant, therapist and love.

27. Share a valuable life lesson you learned in 2018.

Hard work plus patience pays off. I passed the 6-year milestone at my job in September. It’s the longest time I’ve ever worked anywhere in my entire life, whether marketing or law. All the good things that happened this year — my promotion, raise, new boss — made me feel like perhaps I’d found my home.

I continue to be most deeply grateful for my family. I chose not to have human children, but that doesn’t lessen or cheapen how much I love my family. My husband, my parents, my brother, my furkids, and my friends are my life. And that is a pretty damn good one.

 

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2018 Wrap Up

 

Wow, is it really that time of year again? It’s time to wrap up the year with these questions found on a blog called All & Sundry long ago and tweaked a bit. I recommend thinking about these questions yourself. Here’s my 2018 review:

1. What did you do in 2018 that you’d never done before? One of the more interesting things I did was go to an event with the “Singing Bowl Lady” who plays large bowl instruments that make a unique vibrational sound while you lay there and meditate or just relax.  It was cool.  Calming and peaceful.  I was hoping I’d have some big revelation while I was in a meditative state, and while that didn’t happen I did feel pretty relaxed and happy.  I’d like to try it again.
I FINALLY  saw the Amazing Acro-Cats perform,  which has been an unfulfilled dream of mine for a while.  Lucky for me, I have been dating someone who will join right in with any weird shit I want to do.  That show was even more awesome than I expected! A pure delight in every way.

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?  I committed to doing more “maintenance” type things and I was pretty good about that.  I went to the dentist after a 7 year hiatus and got a LOT of much needed dental work done. I even went to the doctor at some point.  I slacked off a bit at the end on those issues, but I did much better than I have been doing, so let’s consider that a win.

I also got an ongoing plumbing problem in my house fixed, even though I did not want to spend the money and preferred to continue doing work-arounds forever.  Plus I got a new dishwasher to replace the one I had with a door that kept falling off and leaking and not really cleaning dishes.  And I finally replaced my old minivan, which was having all sorts of exciting issues.  I spent way more money than is comfortable for me, maintaining and replacing things this year.  It was necessary, but boy was it rough.

I think for 2019 I need to make more resolutions that help me to take better care of myself, because I am fucking exhausted all the time.  I should know how to do this by now, but the past few months have left me drained. I need to do better in this area.

And I will see more movies. That is my favorite resolution and one I aim to keep.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?   No

4. Did anyone close to you die?   No, but losing Burt Reynolds was a heart breaker.  RIP Bandit.

5. What countries did you visit?  I’m planning to end this year and begin next year in Mexico with my special somebody. It’s the first time I’ve left the good ol’ USA in many, many years and I’m really looking forward to it.

6. What would you like to have in 2019 that you lacked in 2018?   It’s hard to describe.  I feel like I have been holding things together and trying to make them work for a while and I am just kind of tired and discouraged.  

The world is in crazy chaos and the shitstorm seems to have no end.  That has taken a toll. And a light has been shined on the way men and women interact and the revelations haven’t been pretty.  And wow, it’s been exhausting to continually have this shit mansplained to me by men who don’t enjoy having to look at their own actions and think outside their own needs and desires.  It comes down to caring whether the other person in your interaction is enjoying the interaction and wants it to continue.  How is it that so many (mostly male) people don’t even think about that? Or don’t care?  It’s mind boggling.  And it’s made 2018 rough.

And I am always worried about money and about the future for me and for my kids. I know intellectually that it takes a while to recover financially from a divorce, particularly when you hadn’t planned on it and didn’t make arrangements to prepare yourself for that type of future.  I did sporadic part-time and freelance work when I was married, so that I could be there for my kids and my husband could travel for his work, but that put my career on the back burner.  It wasn’t a great idea for someone who was not going to be partnered for the long term, but I made the best decisions I could with the info I had at the time.  And three years post-divorce and in the full time working world I’m still very much affected by it.  I feel like I am way behind.  Working as a single parent puts constraints on me that I didn’t have when I was not a parent, which makes it more challenging to move forward. And it is also more stressful because I have three people who count on me and no safety net. So I guess I would have like to have more financial stability and less insecurity in that regard.  I’m working towards it, but it is slow going.

7. What dates from 2018 will remain etched upon your memory?  Days when I’ve participated in races are always special to me.  This year the only ones I did were the Capital 10K and the Turkey Trot.  I felt so happy and renewed after both.  So I know I need to make sure running races is a part of next year.

And I had some great times with my favorite people.  A girls weekend in the Hill Country in January.  Watching the Oscars and other awards shows with my Forever Oscar Date.  Exploring Memphis with my guy.  Taking my kids to visit our Florida family for the 4th of July and watching fireworks on the beach.  Laughing so hard my face and stomach hurt in Dallas with Shakira and Madame V. Walking around beautiful New Orleans in October with one of my dearest friends from way back in high school and eating ALL the food.  And a sweet anniversary dinner in a revolving restaurant overlooking the nighttime lights of Houston.  Lots and lots of good memories this year.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?   I made good progress in letting go of some painful baggage from the past that had been weighing me down for a very long time.  I feel stronger than I have in a while.

9. What was your biggest failure?  Ugh, this one is hard, not because there was one big failure, but it’s more like I don’t feel like I’m really succeeding in most aspects of my life.  I know it is better to look at it as “In comparison to myself three years ago, I’m kicking butt!” but in reality it feels to me like I’m not where I’d hoped to be.  I guess I need to revisit this in 2019.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? I had a running related hip injury that plagued me for a while last year.  I am so happy that it’s mostly healed now and I am getting back to running regularly.  And, as previously mentioned, I had a ton of dental work that I’d avoided for many years. That also sucked, but my dentist is great and should probably name his new boat after me.

11. What was the best thing you bought?  The biggest and best one was my new car.  It’s had a huge effect on me, which I didn’t expect.  I LOVE that car.  It is easy to drive, fuel efficient and really easy to park…which I didn’t even realize was an issue that held me back when I drove the giant hippo-esque minivan.  I especially love that it is purple.  I never truly realized how driving a vaguely colored minivan with a big dent in the side was like driving a giant indicator of my low self esteem.  But a hideous two ton burden has been removed from my life! I was really anxious about making such a big purchase, but I am very glad I did.

The other excellent purchase I made was my new running shoes.  I did not want to spend the extra money on them, but my hip was killing me and I did research that indicated that I was running in the wrong type of shoes and this was part of the reason my injury was not healing.  So I decided to take the gamble to see if better shoes could help.  And luckily they did!  My hip feels almost healed. These shoes have made running good again, which is more than worth it.

12. Where did most of your money go?  Mostly toward childcare, particularly in the summer and to the supermarket, as always.  I also put a lot of money down on my car to secure a lower payment for myself.  And the aforementioned tons of dental work.  I also dropped my phone in the tub, necessitating the purchase of a new one.  Ugh.

13. What did you get really excited about?  See #11 about my beloved car.  I’ve had it for 6 months and I’m still thrilled about it.

14. What song will always remind you of 2018?  It’s probably that Drake song about Kiki, because it was so weird and my goofy kids were very into it this summer.

15. Compared to this time last year, are you:

– happier or sadder?  Unfortunately, I’m a little sadder right now.

– thinner or fatter? Oh damn, I am also a little fatter than last year.  I did less running and exercise because of my hip injury, but I totally ate and drank my feelings.

– richer or poorer? I’m a little poorer, too.

Not a stellar end to the year, but I guess it makes sense that I’m a little sadder.  There is room for improvement

16. What do you wish you’d done more of? Restorative things.  Exercise.  Getting more sleep.

17. What do you wish you’d done less of? Worrying incessantly. Agreeing to things that drain me because they will make someone else happy.  Running in the wrong shoes.

18. How did you spend Christmas/Hanukkah/Major Holiday of your choice? This was the first year I was away from my kids for Christmas, which was kind of hard, but still ok.  I put my dog in a Santa suit.  I ran 5 miles on Christmas Eve and then visited with a dear friend in the afternoon.  Then I spent the rest of the holiday with my boyfriend and his daughters. It was nice and chill.  We made good food and decorated cupcakes.  Drank wine and watched A Christmas Story.  Watched the kids play on their new scooters.  A good time.

19. What were your favorite TV programs?  I loved the second season of GLOW and The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.  I’ve also watched a lot of Superstore, which is hilarious and makes me laugh out loud.  A rarity.  Plus my friend plays a crazy character on that show and I’m happy every time I see her on screen.

20. What were your favorite books you read this year? I haven’t read as much this year as I usually do.  I read and enjoyed a YA book  called Out of the Easy by Ruta Sepetys.  And I really liked the book Less by Andrew Sean Greer.

21. What was your favorite music you heard this year? I had fun listening to a lot of cheesy piano bar music.

22. What were your favorite films you saw this year? I didn’t go to the movies as much as I would have liked, which is why it’s a resolution for 2019.  MORE MOVIES.  In 2018, I liked A Star is Born and the mystery one with Blake Lively (A Simple Favor?) was fun.

23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? My birthday was mostly good.  A little bittersweet.  I turned 47, which is the age that my dad lived to.  I feel so old.  But I got lots and lots of birthday wishes from friends, which is always really nice. My boyfriend was extra sweet to me and sent me  beautiful flowers and took me to a fancy lunch.  I went to the “singing bowl” thing with a couple of good friends that evening and that was relaxing and different from anything I’d done before.  And I went to bed pretty early afterwards and got a good night’s sleep, which means so much more to me these days. So all in all, it was good.

24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? A different outcome for the Kavanaugh hearings would have made a big difference in my outlook. It’s another disheartening shit sandwich to add to the pile along with the Beto loss to the Zodiac Killer.

25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2018?
Librarian up to no good. Always and forever.

26. What kept you sane?
Who says I’m sane? Hehehe.  Running seems to keeps me sane.  As sane as I get, anyway.

27. Share a valuable life lesson you learned in 2018.  I am stronger when I’m not holding on to old baggage from the past.  And I need to consistently stand up for myself, because nobody else is going to do it for me.

Ok, that’s all I’ve got! Let’s see what 2019 has to bring. Happy New Year to all!

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